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Submitted on
December 23, 2010
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I cried for you today.

It was a piece of music. A beautiful piece with a French name, all graceful curves and longing. I was in love with it immediately, just the way I was in love with you.

The truth is that I don't listen to music much anymore.

I don't sing.

I used to.

But the words hurt a little too much, now.

There were no words this time. Just a piano and a thousand memories tumbling along with these bittersweet notes that made my chest tighten and ache.

The memories seem like a lifetime ago. The girl in them smiles and laughs. She's so carefree. She looks like the girl in the photographs in my room, the one I don't quite recognize. She hasn't been hurt yet, that girl. She hasn't been in love.

She doesn't know.

I want to tell her to move slowly. Savor each moment and every kiss. Memorize the feel of your hand and the way you breathe when you sleep. Remember how you smiled at her, the way it lit up your whole face, especially your eyes. She knows why she loves you when you smile like that. She knows that nothing makes her feel so complete as knowing that that smile is just for her.

But you leave her. You leave her with a promise and she cries for you every day. She sings for you, too. Every song that we loved. She sings them and she doesn't feel quite so lonely. You promised her, you see. You promised that you'd come back, that you'd never say you didn't love her. And she believes you.

You never actually break that last promise. You never say the four words that might set her free. And I—

I can't.

I can't let you go.

The girl in my memory cries. But she makes herself stop after a while, because she knows that tears won't bring you back. And then she stops singing. She can't sing you home. She knows that, too.

You're gone and she's left with old photographs and a mirror that reflects a stranger.

I recognize her, though.

I cried for you today.

But maybe I cried for her, too.
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:iconrociobelindamendez:
rociobelindamendez Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
This is beautiful, made me sad.. considering situations I am in.. but also because you wrote it really well .good stuff :)
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:icono-ohhai:
o-ohhai Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013
Thank you! But I hope your situation improves. Hang in there :huggle:
Reply
:iconaverin-renee:
Averin-Renee Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2011  Student
this is beautiful. and i know that song. tragic and beautiful
Reply
:icono-ohhai:
o-ohhai Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2011
Thanks :thanks:
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:icongirltoyou:
girltoyou Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2011  Student Photographer
You're an incredible writer... Why don't you mail the poems to her? This is clearly eating at you and even if she doesn't want to hear it, you should tell her. It'll be good for you to send them to her.
Reply
:icono-ohhai:
o-ohhai Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2011
I don't have an address to send any of it too. Otherwise, trust me on this, I certainly would.
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:icongirltoyou:
girltoyou Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Photographer
if you don't mind my asking who is she? What's her name?
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:icono-ohhai:
o-ohhai Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011
She was my girlfriend. She got deployed overseas and she broke up with me because of it. I still love her more than anything :shrug:

Her name's in this poem if you're curious. It's an acrostic.
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:icongirltoyou:
girltoyou Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2011  Student Photographer
So long as you know her first and last name, you can mail it to her. Tell the post ofice your mailing to troops and they'll get it to her. It may take a few months, but she'll get the mail.
Reply
:icono-ohhai:
o-ohhai Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2011
That's a tempting option. I just don't know if it's the right thing to do. We've been broken up for some time now and if she's moving on... I mean, I don't want her to have moved on, but I don't want to hurt her by sending her letters, either.

I appreciate the advice, though. I'll keep it in mind.
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